Categories
Events and Life Mindsets

17 years and I miss my father every day

My father passed away 17 years ago, today (at least based on the Hebrew calendar – he passed away on 12 July 2003).

We commemorate the day with a candle that burns for 24 hours, and think about what could have been, the time we had with him, and what I could have done differently.

I think that, over the years, regret has given way to contemplating missed opportunities with my father and, hopefully, drawing on those lessons to improve my relationships with our children, my wife, and my family.

That said, it’s not easy for me. I can be pretty self-obsessed, and that isn’t a recipe for success in relationships where my focus should be on my loved ones around me. Still, like most things, it’s a work in progress.

This last week has been a tough one for my family for another reason. My uncle passed away last week after a brief battle with COVID-19. It was pretty sudden, and I think the family is still reeling from the week.

So, today as we commemorate the 17th anniversary of our father’s passing, our cousins, aunt, and our expanded family are mourning too.

Categories
Events and Life Mindsets Wellbeing

Reality tapping you on the shoulder

My family suffered a tragic loss this week due to the coronavirus. Last night, I read Om Malik’s post “The Pain of Distance“, and noticing reality tapping you on the shoulder –

If this is how I feel, I can’t even internalize how my mom must be feeling. She said it is cold. She didn’t even tell us about the fever. She can’t remember parts of the day. Even staying awake is tough. She is trying to be brave. She keeps saying it is nothing. And my dad is behaving as if there is nothing wrong. It is all so strange and all so sudden. You don’t realize the reality is just tapping you on the shoulder.

The Pain of Distance – On my Om

It’s easier to ignore a “common” cold. We see them every year, they’re part of our annual routines. Even that virus takes its victims every year, but we have a vaccine to help with it.

With COVID-19, we don’t have that. It doesn’t take long from the time you start to feel the effects of the virus, until you find yourself in a hospital bed (if you’re fortunate to have access to one, and act on the warning signs early enough), facing your mortality.

Pay attention when you feel reality tapping you on the shoulder.

Beyond that –

  1. Wear your mask over your mouth and nose;
  2. Wash your hands for 20 seconds, frequently;
  3. Keep a safe distance from others.

If not for yourself, do it for your family, and loved ones.

Categories
Events and Life Mindsets Wellbeing

Tragedy of Normalcy in the Coronavirus Shadow

When I walk around the city, and go for my runs, I see Israeli kids playing in water fountains, while their parents watch on. Few of them are wearing masks, or maintaining a reasonable distance from friends and relatives. Despite that, I empathise with people who lived in the coronavirus shadow during our initial lockdown, wanting to return to some semblance of normalcy.

In the shadow of a looming disaster

Then, I look around again, and I see how only a few wear masks over their mouths and noses, and make an effort to keep a safe distance. I feel like I’m watching a movie scene where people are unaware that their lives are about to be horribly torn apart by some unseen enemy.

Because that’s what seems to be happening here, in Israel, as we increasingly see headlines like this:

Virus infection numbers vault to record-breaking 859 cases in 24 hours

Virus infection numbers vault to record-breaking 859 cases in 24 hours | The Times of Israel

As much as I want everything to go back to how it all was before this virus fractured our society, I don’t think we can ever go back to the freedom we had before. Certainly not unless someone discovers a wondrous vaccine that reduces COVID-19 to a minor cold for the majority of our neighbours.

In the meantime, I see too many families behaving as if wearing masks is just a formality to avoid a fine from the police. Masks have become a fashion accessory for chins, and elbows for most of the people I see around me.

Some wear masks covering their mouths and noses, but not enough. For everyone else, the sun is shining, and there’s no need to keep apart. In the meantime, the virus’ resurgence started in schools, and instead of being horrified, we see school graduation events that cluster kids close together for dances, and photo opportunities.

Outrage doesn’t help. I just feel waves of sadness when I see this, and hope that perhaps there is some sort of magical bubble to protect our friends, and neighbours this time around.

This coronavirus is an insidious thing

This coronavirus is an insidious thing. It separates us at our weakest, and pulls families apart when they desperately need to be together. Parents diagnosed with COVID-19 are sequestered into hospital wards, and isolated from their families, fervently hoping/praying for their recovery, fearing that they may not.

I had a terrible thought: Imagine if a child becomes ill, and is isolated in one of these hospital wards. Will their parents be able to visit them, comfort them, or will their child be forced to face the fear of being sick, in a clinical environment, where they could lose their fight, alone?

It’s a truly awful thought, and yet we’re not doing nearly enough to keep our children, and ourselves safe.

When I look around at the people I pass, they don’t seem to have contemplated the nightmare that this virus could visit on them, and their families. Perhaps they don’t want to contemplate it, and prefer to pretend that everything is ok.

A cliché in Israel is the phrase: “הכל בסדר” – “Everything is ok”. It isn’t, and it won’t be for a while yet.


Photo by Andrew Seaman on Unsplash

Categories
Events and Life Mindsets

Free fall

The world feels more than a little crazy at the moment. Relative to what 2020 has been so far, that’s saying a lot. Lately, I’ve felt a bit like we’re in free fall, pretending that the air rushing past us as we hurtle down is just a refreshing breeze on a Spring day. It’s almost as if we’re all desperately hoping it can be ok again, faking it until we make it (if we do).

Societies are in massive upheaval, and few politicians are making any real sense (again, relative to what they usually do).

Annexation?! Really?

Here in Israel, our Prime Minister is intent on annexing settlements in the West Bank (aka Judea and Samaria) next month. I imagine that reclaiming that territory for Israel is what most Zionists hope for, but does this really need to happen now, and like this?

Israel, like most of the world, is still reeling from the initial wave of COVID-19 infections, and we see the beginnings of what could be a second wave emerging from schools (that is horrifying in itself). Our economy took a serious knock when Israel went into a lockdown to try curtail the virus’ spread.

Most Israelis are more concerned about paying their bills, not dying from this virus, and trying to return to a semblance of normalcy (whatever that is now). And yet our Prime Minister is intent on dragging Israel into war with our neighbours, International condemnation, and even more strain on our society.

What’s pretty clear is that annexation will either utterly undermine Israel as a democratic, Jewish state by adding millions of unwilling Palestinians to Israeli governance, or create a 21st century Apartheid. Neither option is a recipe for our continued survival as a nation.

And why? Good question. I imagine the prospect of Donald Trump losing the November elections, and the USA’s current proposal that theoretically enables Israel to claim more territory being rescinded by a Democratic president is a factor for Netanyahu.

About the virus

When our restrictions started to ease, many Israelis started to behave as if the virus had magically vanished. People quickly forgot about physical distancing, washing hands, keeping gatherings small, wearing gloves … all the habits we started to learn during our lockdown.

I can understand the need to feel like things are normal again. At the same time, these are not normal times, and the virus didn’t go away.

We’re seeing new waves of infections, and this time they’re starting in schools. Teachers are not always enforcing Health Ministry rules about wearing masks, and maintaining a safe distance between kids. Heck, some teachers our our kids’ school don’t wear masks, and this only encourages kids who are reluctant to wear masks, not to do so.

The fact that these new waves of infections seem to be starting in schools is shameful.

It’s not kids that aren’t paying attention to the rules we still have to try limit the spread of the virus. I looked out our window on the weekend, and saw a gathering of a few families at a park near us. They were sitting close to each other, and weren’t wearing masks (wearing a mask on your chin doesn’t count).

Wearing masks is unpleasant, but so is the prospect of being sick with this virus. I just looked at this group, and shrugged.

We each do what we can, and many people still wear masks, give each other space when passing in the street, or on parks. I worry that it’s not enough, and that our bubble will burst soon, leading us back into another lockdown, and more devastating human losses.

Black and LGBTQ Lives Matter too

Outside our borders, it looks like the United States is in utter turmoil with a questionable response to COVID-19 in the first part of the year, and the explosion of outrage, and protest over deep-seated prejudice against people of colour, and people in the LGBTQ community (I’m probably making a mess of the community reference, so apologies for that).

It’s jarring to see how pervasive racism, sexism, and gender-based prejudice is in a country that holds itself out as a bastion of equality and freedom. Of course, this isn’t a disease in the United States. I am almost speechless about this display of misogyny here in Israel.

Still falling

With all of this going on, I can’t help but feel like I’m in free fall. Again. I’m not sure what I can do about any of this, except do my best to be present with what I’m feeling, look after my family, and do the best we can each day.

This may be our new normal, but it’s not ok. Things won’t be ok for a while. That will have to be ok for now, I guess.


Featured image by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

Categories
Events and Life Mindsets Travel and places

“Those flags gave me hope”

My wife recently wrote a post about our city’s annual tradition of putting up flags ahead of Israel’s Independence Day. Apparently someone raised concerns on Facebook about how this extra cost was wasted in light of the need for more resources to combat COVID-19.

These flags aren’t an annual exercise in vanity and frivolity, they mean much more than that –

Seeing those flags made me smile. Seeing those flags made my heart feel lighter. It made me feel connected to people, my fellow citizens, when I had spent almost an entire month in my home with no personal contact with anyone outside of my immediate family.

Those flags gave me hope.

It was an affirmation. We are Israel!  We are Israelis –  and we can overcome anything that is thrown our way.

So, random Facebook man, I vehemently disagree!

Those flags are not a waste of money. Not at all. They are – JoyLove and Hope. And they are a promise.

We WILL make it through this.

We WILL survive.

It’s what we do.

Flags of Hope – A Bit of This A Bit of That

You can read the rest of Gina’s post on her blog, or on Lay of the Land where it appeared first.

Categories
Events and Life Mindsets Music

Comforting familiarity

Jamie Rubin wrote about waning motivation, and comforting familiarity yesterday –

Maybe it is familiarity during a time of uncertainty that I find comforting. The unknowns pull the levers of anxiety. Because of this, I have to limit myself to thinking about today and not worrying too much about what may happen tomorrow. When I start to think about tomorrow, or the next week, I find that my motivation is sapped just a little bit more.

No Motivation | Jamie Todd Rubin

We do find familiarity comforting. I’ve had a 80s playlist on Spotify on heavy rotation lately, and I realised earlier that it’s probably because this is my comforting familiarity.

Whatever works, and helps make each day a little lighter, and more productive, right?

At the same time, we’re in a challenging time. The pandemic challenges our ideas about how we live, how we relate to each other, and what “normal” is.

Perhaps this is also about tempering this unnerving change with familiarity to help us adapt better?

Categories
Events and Life Mindsets

The new normal

One of my friends pointed out Seth Godin’s post about transitioning to a new normal through a slog (at least that’s what I take from this). This idea resonates with me, to a degree, even as it unnerves me –

During a slog, we have a chance to accept a new normal, even if it’s temporary, and to figure out how to make something of it. You don’t have to wish for it, but it’s here. There’s very little value in spending our time nostalgic for normal.

When we get to the other side of the slog and look back, what will we have contributed, learned and created?

A situation vs a slog | Seth’s Blog

What I take away from this is that the slog we’re in at the moment (with pandemic restrictions, and a new way of living amidst these coronaviruses going forward) is that this is a period of painful change, and learning how to live uncomfortably.

When we finally emerge from the “slog” part of this journey, our lives won’t look the same anymore. Maybe that isn’t a bad thing.

One way or another, we’ll find out, th0ugh. And in times like these (as is the case generally), our attitude towards the change will make a huge difference to whether we can thrive in what becomes our new normal.


unsplash-logoVidar Nordli-Mathisen
Categories
Mindsets Sports

New running goal as COVID-19 restrictions ease

I paused my Garmin Coach 5K running plan when we were restricted to short distances from home due to COVID-19 restrictions. Now that our restrictions for sport have largely been lifted, I wanted to continue with the running plan. It turns out that you can’t pause a Garmin training plan this long, so I needed to start again.

I initially started the same 5K plan again, and then thought: “Why not just do a 10K plan? I’m already running 5K distances in my workouts.” So I did that, and set a new running goal.

I’m starting my 10K plan today with a goal of running my 10K “race” at the end of July.


I just watched “The Sky Project” about endurance runner Magda Boulet while I waited for my breakfast to settle.

This has become a mini-tradition before my weekend runs, and it’s a little extra inspiration before I start my new plan.