Your worst movie theatre experience probably wasn't this bad

You know those people in movie theatres who seem to think they are the only ones there or that everyone appreciates their running narrative and the details of their phone calls? I just read an open letter from Drew McWeeny, a movie critic, to someone who makes those people seem positively innocuous. It starts like this and you can imagine what comes next (you’d be wrong, its far worse):

My first impulse, one which I wrestled with for about a half-hour, was to use my elbow to strike you once in the throat, as hard as possible, hoping that if I were to crush your windpipe completely, it would silence you.

I’m sure there is something in the law that shields you from criminal liability if you assault people like this …