In the lead up to a rumoured Apple event on 7 March the rumour mills are cranking away on far too many energy drinks and Apple fan people are lapping it all up and accepting it all as gospel. This happens every time there is something that looks like an Apple event and particularly with (rumoured) iPad and iPhone announcements.
According to the latest rumours going around, the iPad 3 (yes, it is apparently definitely the iPad 3) will be constructed from a lattice of unicorn tears and fairy breath. It will have a super Retina display that will show you what will happen tomorrow in vivid HD video. It will also be half the width of current iPads and will usher in peace and friendship between Dachshunds and small children. I can’t wait.
Ok, ok, it won’t usher in a new era of peace and friendship between Dachshunds and small children. That’s impossible.
Ok, ok, ok. You got me. I made that rumour up. Just.like.most.of.the.other.rumours.on.Twitter.right.now. Unless you have super top secret clearance to the super duper top secret lab deep within Jonny Ive’s laboratory, chances are the rumours you are spreading to get clicks are wrong and if you are buying into these rumours, you need to go outside, get some fresher air and some of that stuff called sunshine.
Rant over, as they say in the Classics (no, that’s not an app).