I am waiting for G to arrive at the gym. I got here a bit early and have worked out a bit already (meaning I am a little stiff and still have lots more to do). I have been thinking about a conversation I had with my friend Michelle earlier. She is really down today and has been asking all the tough questions about the journey through what many describe as the Long Dark Night of the Soul. It is never an easy time in life and often comes and goes pretty often if there is a nagging issue.
For me that nagging issue is my career which hasn’t excited me for a long time. In fact, it has become the only thing in my life that seems to be dragging me down. That is not to say that those times of unhappiness are the fault of my job. My job is not to blame here. I am responsible for my own happiness and it is my consistent failure or refusal to change careers or to change my attitude towards my career that is the real reason. Just the same, how do you change when the habit is so entrenched?
I often feel the powerful urge to just resign and go do something I love. I catch myself hoping for another career and quickly correct myself. I have a business and several projects on the go, each of which is a business in itself. The catch is that they are slow to pick up and I tend to carry my unhelpful habits across to how I relate to these projects. I procrastinate, doubt myself and often despair at the slow growth of these projects.
So, what is the answer? Is it better to listen to the urges to just leap into the income-less wilderness and start flapping? Or is it better to simply keep chugging forward and endure those treks through the Dark Nights? This is all a bit rhetorical really. I know the key is endurance. Or is it?