From us ("the wishors") to you ("hereinafter called the wishee"):
Please accept without obligation, explicit or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low
stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect
for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or secular traditions.
Please also accept, under aforesaid waiver of obligation on your part, our
best withes for a financially successful, personally fulfilling and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of this calendar year of
the Common Era, but with due respect for the calendars of all cultures or
sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability,
religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the
By accepting this greeting you acknowledge that:
This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal at the
This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be
made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor
This greeting implies no warranty on the part of the wishors to fulfill
these wishes, nor any ability of the wishors to do so, merely a beneficent
hope on the part of the wishors that they in fact occur.
This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the
restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain
jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishors.
This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within
the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.
The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this
wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor
Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our
Saviour", or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead
or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this
greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and
images are hereby acknowledged.
Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe
Attorneys at Law
This really appeals to the lawyer in me. I am not sure about the source or even if the firm named at the end is real so if you do know, please let me know. Thanks!