These are the things that keep us small, stuck. They are the experiences we have because we have become so dependent on someone else’s approval that even when we begin to see how that relationship is over and it is time to move forward into a space that supports us and encourages us to grow in directions we never though existed, we stay where we are, stuck. In times like this I am reminded of the Robin Williams movie "What Dreams May Come" and the discussion about what happens to people who commit suicide. If I remember correctly, people who commit suicide find themselves in a very gothic, self-absorbed hell where they struggle with their choices including their choice to end their lives. They become so absorbed in their own misery that they can’t see beyond it.
In a way it is a bit like that for me. I find myself becoming so absorbed into my unhappy job and the choices I made which contributed to my circumstances that it is a struggle to lift myself out of that funk and grasp the opportunities that have been presented to me. Bit like emotional quicksand.