The List cannot be held responsible for wear and tear on the eyesight, spousal neglect or loss of productivity at work. The List will not accept responsibility for bathrooms flooded, doors left open, meetings missed, children left waiting at the school gate, burnt saucepans, spoilt milk, empty larders, unfed dogs, expensive sofas scratched by vengeful cats, dishes left festering in the sink and crumbs found nestling between the bedsheets. Nor can The List be held accountable for the sexual frustration of non-reading spouses forced to rely upon the comfort of strangers. The List will accept no blame for pallid complexions, spreading buttocks, shoulders dislocated by heavy bookbags, or the deterioration of once-magnificent physiques due to lack of physical exercise. We regret that The List cannot be held liable for exquisitely engineered racing bicycles left to rust in the basement, for prize-winning gardens gone to seed, or for ruinously expensive fly fishing gear left unused. The List is not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential loss of social skills, or for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential loss of interest in social events resulting directly, indirectly, incidentally or consequentially in protracted or irremediable spinsterhood.
It is quite possibly the funniest disclaimer I have ever seen.