My father passed away 17 years ago, today (at least based on the Hebrew calendar – he passed away on 12 July 2003).
We commemorate the day with a candle that burns for 24 hours, and think about what could have been, the time we had with him, and what I could have done differently.
I think that, over the years, regret has given way to contemplating missed opportunities with my father and, hopefully, drawing on those lessons to improve my relationships with our children, my wife, and my family.
That said, it’s not easy for me. I can be pretty self-obsessed, and that isn’t a recipe for success in relationships where my focus should be on my loved ones around me. Still, like most things, it’s a work in progress.
This last week has been a tough one for my family for another reason. My uncle passed away last week after a brief battle with COVID-19. It was pretty sudden, and I think the family is still reeling from the week.
So, today as we commemorate the 17th anniversary of our father’s passing, our cousins, aunt, and our expanded family are mourning too.