Needing Permission

I found myself in an interesting position. I was doing some work for a community project and a manager who had a different approach to handling some aspects of the project began to assert herself more. It began to feel as if my contribution wasn’t appreciated, even though it was very much needed and the reason seemed to be because this manager simply had her own way of doing things.

With everything I have on my metaphorical plate at the moment, I didn’t want to waste time working on the project if my contribution isn’t going to be appreciated and incorporated into the overall project. I vacillated between exiting the project altogether (and rather spending the time building my business which pays the bills) or scheduling time to meet with the manager to seek concessions from her.

It occurred to me this evening that what I was really doing through the second option was seeking permission to make a contribution I know if necessary and has value to the community benefiting from the project. It is also something I have some skill with. This need for permission struck me as absurd. Sure, the manager is in charge and accountable to her superiors but the consequences of not doing this project properly can be severe. So why did I feel the need to ask for permission? Second question: where else have I been in the habit of subconsciously seeking permission to do good work, great work even?

One of my mentors once told me fairly bluntly to stop my bullshit. I think this qualifies.