Cut through the clutter.
Unexpected is good. An exceptional streamlined browsing technology known as the Cut Away Effect, randomly prevents 9/10 of the browser from rendering properly in order to save system resources. This is not a bug.
Do more by doing less.
Open multiple copies of Microsoft websites in one window with tabbed browsing. See thumbnail images of all Microsoft sites in a single view. Organize multiple tabs of sites into a single tab group of everything Microsoft and save it as a favorite. Opening 30 of your favorite Microsoft sites has never been easier.
Print it right the first time
Microsoft Firefox 2007 automatically shrinks text to abysmally small sizes, so all webpage content can fit onto a single apostrophe on your final printed page. This saves ink. Printing options includes adjustable margins, customizable margins, removable margins and more changeable margins. Manipulating margins has never been so exciting.
Fun at the speed of light.
Tired of slow image rendering? Microsoft Firefox 2007 can deliver online pornography at blazing fiery speeds. By using a proprietary dynamic algorithm, anything that remotely resembles a tit or a boob will download up to 10 times faster!
Choose multiple search providers.
Search the Internet directly from the browser frame using your favorite Microsoft search provider with the instant search box.
Put safety first.
A robust new Microsoft security architecture known as TakeOver helps to protect the Windows Kernel from malicious, damaging and viral software such as Symantec and McAfee products.
A full list of features can be found here. I really appreciate that Microsoft has come to see RSS for what it really is:
RSS (Real Simple Sex)
RSS is a relatively new algorithmic technology fueled by the continued hot desires of many online web users. Accessed by an illuminating an icon on the toolbar – a single click allows you to view and optionally download anything that resembles a tit, a boob or a breast – rendered directly in the browser with speeds up to 10 times faster than the competition. Real Simple Sex can scan and arrange explicit images/pictures in order of quality and effectively filters out irrelevant content such as balloons or soccer balls.
So, head on over to the site today and download the last web browser you’ll ever need.
In case anyone hasn’t realised yet, this is a hoax. It was really well done, but still a hoax. For the real deal, click on the big, bright image below: