Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter/summer solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all AND a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our society (not to imply that my society is necessarily greater than any other society or is the only society of its sort in the world), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
For more, read the full article on IOL. It is really funny and at the same time, an indictment of our increasing desire not to offend anyone at the risk of becoming more and more obscure.