Many people, both male and female, put so much of their energy into
loving their partner, family and/or friends that they don’t have any
energy and love left for themselves. But unless we love ourselves
first, we are unable to give as much to others. Our affections become
conditional on receiving something back and resentments start to slowly
bubble to the surface.
I used to believe that if I cared about someone that I should always
give when asked, and do my best to guess what they wanted when I wasn’t
asked. If someone wanted to spend time with me and it was inconvenient
I would change my plans to suit them. I was scared of losing approval
if I said no. But if we respect what someone else wants more than what
we want, we lose respect for ourselves.